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"It’s called Alpha. Stop calling it fish."

- Pre- Calculus Teacher (via alec-scudder)

(via thatswhatshowoffsdo)

Source: mathprofessorquotes
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bryanstars:

if you say your hair has never annoyed you to the point of wanting to shave your head you’re lying

(via pickuplime)

Source: bryanstars
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jhart87:

I have been laughing about this for days now.

(via yeahivegotalovelikewoe)

Source: jhart87
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knightscrest:

officialnasa:

knightscrest:

knightscrest:

how do astronauts say they’re sorry?

they apollo-gize!!

We dont apologize.

we are perfect.

nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ

(via that-filipino-kid)

Source: knightscrest
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unfollower:

you cant even stereotype the southern US because everything you come up with is probably true

(via yeahivegotalovelikewoe)

Source: unfollower
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Photo Set
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warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(via qurl)

Source: warsquirtle
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cravenaddict:

nabokovsshadows:

senpai-has-noticed-you:

sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by cicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg

He has also recited his own poetry to them.

#dude this is why you got stabbed by all your friends

(via thatswhatshowoffsdo)

Source: senpai-has-noticed-you